well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
