Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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