I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize