Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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