They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
