It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
