I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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