Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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