Sry I called you an 8
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
