I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
