Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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