Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
