i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
