We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
