You really coming over, don't trick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
