I hate your face
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
