Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
