woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
