some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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