problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am naked and annoyed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
