Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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