btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
