I just saw a hot homeless man
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
