Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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