question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Im part way to drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
