He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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