Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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