we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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