That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just forgot I was standing up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
