We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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