Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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