I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
