I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Two words: blizzard sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
