I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize