I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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