I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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