His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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