It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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