Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
