i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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