I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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