I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
