Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
