i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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