He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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