Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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