he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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