What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
