my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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