He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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