Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
