How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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