LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
