i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
