Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
