I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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