Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
