i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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