I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
