dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
