he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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