Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize