It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
