After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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