quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
