i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
